It’s not often that I am torn between two different events on the same night. However, that’s how it was on Friday night. In one corner, looking a lot like a rebellious out of control teenager, stood the monthly Impact drum and bass night at An Cruiscín Lán, which is always brilliant and should never be taken for granted! In the other corner, looking every bit like the seminal hip hop genius that he undoubtedly is, stood the magnificent DJ Jazzy Jeff with his trusty sidekick, MC Skillz, who were playing at The Savoy on the very same night. What to do, what to do.

Shortly after meeting up with my partner in crime for the evening, the delectably desirable Snow Girl, a plan was quickly conceived, formulated and hatched (probably into one of those really cute little furry baby chicks that wobble about the place looking all timid and helpless) and we set off to The Savoy with a spring in our step. As we had no tickets, we decided to see if we could get in at the door. Failing that, the drum and bass was always there as a back-up plan! As it turned out, we need not have feared as we had no problems getting in. One ultra-violet marking on our right hand (they were fussy, they wouldn’t do the left hand, like what’s up with that) later and we were in!

After a quick trip to the bar for a drink and some chit-chat, we moved to the main floor, which was fecking mobbed (more about that later) to await the arrival of the man himself. Soon after, MC Skillz and DJ Jazzy Jeff took to the stage and the hip hop goodness kicked off with a bang - witness the fitness my pretty ones!

Snow Girl and I spent the best part of the next hour strutting our funky stuff - she is the perfect dance partner it must be said - before adjourning to the back bar for some badly needed liquid refreshment. After a brief adventure on the back bar dance floor, we returned to the main floor for some more Jazzy Jeff goodness. Much madness ensued and apologies to Snow Girl for bruising her shoulder with my elbow during “Jump Around” by House of Pain. Well, I was jumping around for God’s sake, it’s not like I fecking meant it or anything!

All in all, it was a great night and Jazzy Jeff and Skillz were brilliant. The only thing that upset me was the severe overcrowding on the main dance floor. Now don’t get me wrong, this would be acceptable if everyone on the dance floor was dancing but as they weren’t it just really pissed me off. Therefore, in future I’d really appreciate it if everyone abided by the following simple guidelines.

• If you’re just watching then get off the fucking dance floor!
• If you’re just drinking then get off the fucking dance floor!
• If you’re just getting off with someone then get off the fucking dance floor!
• If you’re just taking photos with your phone then get off the fucking dance floor!
• If you’re just feeling up women then... on second thoughts, we’ll let that one slide!
• Basically, if you’re not dancing then get off the fucking dance floor!

Finally, a few words to Rat Girl. First, you and V Girl should have gone because it was fecking fantastic! Secondly, learn a lesson or two from Snow Girl, she actually had some milk in her fridge! (No, you’re never going to be let forget that one :-)

Labels: DJs, Hip Hop

# Forged from the fiery depths by Pure Cork Boy.