Tuesday, October 17, 2006

The Roaring Forties

The Roaring Forties
Cos he's the Shiek of Cork City!

The Roaring Forties
Last of the Mohicans

The Roaring Forties
Seems like a good idea when you're drunk!

The Roaring Forties
George and Magnum discuss fashion.

The Roaring Forties
Back when socks were cool!

The Roaring Forties are playing at the Half Moon this Friday evening and to be honest I just can’t wait and I’m looking forward to a really good show. I haven’t seen them live in what seems like ages, I think the last time was in December during the week before Christmas so I’m well due a fix by now. Furthermore, as I have now officially decided that The Roaring Forties are one of my all-time favourite bands, the time has come to celebrate this wondrous epiphany by explaining to you all what makes them so damn great. (Look, I really resent the fact that some of you are already thinking that this is nothing more than a cheap shot at trying to get on the guest list!)

The Roaring Forties are fun! Yes, fun I say, you know that thing that you used to love when you were a kid. Of course by now it’s probably been beaten out of most of you and some of you might have only a vague glimmer of what having fun used to feel like. However, fret not, for help is at hand in the form of this wonderful band and if you want a great night out that is guaranteed to wash away the cobwebs and bring a big beaming smile to your inner child then you really owe it to yourself to get your ass down to the Half Moon on Friday. (Anyway, I’d be more than happy to pay to see them play, come on, guest lists are for cheapskates.)

The Roaring Forties are funny! No, this is not the same as the previous point as fun and funny are two completely different things altogether. Ok, fair enough, they’re not all funny... look, alright, alright, I’ll admit that apart from Julian’s suits (thanks for the complimentary tickets to the Bubble Brothers’ Wine Bash by way, legend man) that George is the only funny one but he’s funny enough to make up for rest of those moody feckers although in fairness to Julian he does make a reasonable effort and does smile a lot while drumming. But I digress, George is a funny guy and if his off the cuff quips don’t bring a smile to your face then I’m afraid there’s simply no hope for you. Just take a look at some of the photos to the left and come to your own conclusions. (In fairness, I’d be totally mortified and embarrassed if I was put on the guest list.)

The Roaring Forties encourage dancing! Stop, don’t panic, dancing is good. No matter what bullshit you feed me, I know you wallflowers are not truly happy standing there with that grim countenance and glazed “you must be fucking joking if you think you’re getting me out there” look across your face. Anyway, it matters not because it’s practically impossible to spend the night sitting on your ass at a Roaring Forties gig. Their infectious swing jazz rhythms will not so much gently coax you out of your seat and onto the dance floor but are more likely to light a stick of dynamite under your chair and strongly urge you to get your ass on the floor while you still can. Once you’re there, you can prance about like an idiot just like the rest of us, except for George of course, who is a very good dancer, why he hasn’t yet appeared on “Celebrity Strictly Come Dancing” is an absolute mystery to me. (Look, I’m not just buttering up George to try and get on the guest list, what is wrong with you people!)

The Roaring Forties are talented! What, you thought I was just buying into the image without worrying about the substance. I’m afraid not, unfortunately I’ll have to admit that they’re also a very talented bunch of musicians. (As if they’re frickin’ heads weren’t big enough already, now they’re just going to be insufferable.) I have to say that I was totally blown away the first time I heard Gareth’s guitar playing, he was like Django Reinhardt on acid, although now that he has left, I’m looking forward to hearing Pedro play. And I suppose you’re right, the geezer that does the singing - what his name again? - he’s not bad either I suppose. (Like, they probably don’t even have a guest list and if they do then it’s probably full anyway.)

The Roaring Forties are nice! No, I don’t mean like ice-cream or jelly babies, I mean they’re nice people. You know, the kind of guys who could play in your granny’s front room without making a mess or breaking any of the good china. Seriously though, these guys are just nice decent people who probably wouldn’t cross to the other side of the street to avoid you and who are very friendly and approachable and who are mainly concerned with ensuring that you have a terrific night out when you come to see them. And if you can’t make it on Friday then be sure to check out the gig list on their website so that you can catch them another night. Take it from me, you won’t be sorry. (Now if that doesn’t get me on the fucking guest list then I frickin’ give up!)

The Roaring Forties The Half Moon Theatre Bubble Brothers Strictly Come Dancing Django Reinhardt

Since posting this, I have been informed that this is possible one of the most sycophantic, vomit inducing, subtle as a brick posts that I have ever written and that some of you are still cringing in embarrassment on my behalf. Damn, what can I say... I was just trying to be nice and a little funny at the same time. Look, never mind, just look at the pictures and ignore the words. :-)

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Hmmm, I hope your subtle hints are noticed! I like what you did with the pictures, especially the Garda car one. Should be a good night, gonna bring the camera out to this one and go mad on the Thursday gig they play in the Savoy (seeing as it's my birthday n all - damn, your subtlety must be contagious!)
We'll have to get a big crowd going to your birthday bash!
PCB, I guess subtlety is not one of your strong points! But I agree that it should be a good night.
You know me... subtle as a brick! Still, my sentiments are sincere all the same, they're a great band.
You're too kind altogether! I've sent Jumpin'George Patterson a text to tell him to put your name on the door. Watch this space. Meantime, you may be delighted to learn that the younger, more glamorous, frankly-better-at-playing-the-drums Christian will be the cat in the hot seat on Friday and at many of the young persons' gigs to come. I'm being promoted to the 45 drives and retirement home Christmas parties &c. &c. Also I'm incoherent with stress from sorting out this wine thing on Tuesday.
Julian, I'm shocked! Whatever gave you the idea that I would like to be on the guest list, that's very kind of you. It just goes to show that if you say nice things about people that you will get some good karma in return. :-)
So good, thank you, you have earned the guestlist plus one. you too Donal for spending the time to talk to me in the high street. looking forwards to seeing you all.
Dont know whether to wear my hair up or down or Rockabilly.
Oh my God, like that's just so unexpected, thanks very much, no really, I mean it. :-)

I have informed Donal and he is also happy. Don't worry, we'll bring a few friends who will pay their way in just to make sure you lot can still feed and clothe yourselves!
Thanks a bunch George. Looking forward to this gig, we saw ye in the Half Moon for the first time probably over a year ago now.
Just a follow-up thank you to George for another great gig. We all had a great night. Roll on the Savoy this Thursday!
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